Growing up in an extremely conservative household, I was never really one to have a lot of friends. Sure, there were a couple friends from church who I got to hang out with, and of course youth group trips (when they didn't conflict with sports or music), but beyond that, really, not a lot of friends. The group of people I was perhaps most close to (outside of church) was the orchestra, and particularly the Apollo Strings (an "elite" chamber orchestra that played gigs for fees/donations, that we then used to take a trip after school was out).
And so it is, as of late, that I've come to learn the value of friendship and how nice and fun it can be to actually hang out with folks in social settings, relax, chat, watch a game, or travel, or just get drinks. It's a concept that feels totally foreign to me, while at the same time fits like a perfectly sized pair of socks. Moreover, it's reminded me that I do, in fact, actually like people (well, some people, anyway;). I like being able to just hang out and chit-chat with not much pressure. And, I like going places and running into people I know and like, kind of like the theme song from Cheers describes:
Sometimes you want to go
Where everybody knows your name,
and they're always glad you came.
You wanna be where you can see,
our troubles are all the same
You wanna be where everybody knows
Your name.
And so, the latest incarnations of this phenomenon have played out over the last few months... it really started in August while on the European tour. Though Hanna's anxiety didn't allow her to go out, she agreed to let me go clubbing a couple nights, and there I was able to build friendships with people I'd otherwise have never met, such as our friends in England. This new friendship experience has really led me to realize how much I enjoy it.
Another change triggered by the Europe trip was joining Facebook. I know, it's probably lame and weird to say this, but there's something really cool about having a list online of friends, being able to keep track of them, keep in touch with them, play games with them, and so on. Probably the best feeling is when someone you're acquainted with requests to be your friend, almost as if to say "hey, I like you, let's be friends." Seriously! Ok, yes, I'm lame, I admit it.
Besides the England trip, I had an experience yesterday that was, well, just cool. A couple years ago we had run into two of my Luther classmates at the annual Nobel Prize celebration in DC, which is sponsored by the Norwegian Embassy and the ELCA colleges in the midwest (Luther, St Olaf, Concordia, and Augustana, I think it is). We chatted for a while, and said the normal "we should get together sometime" parting comments and that was it.
A couple weeks ago, one of these people (Jessica) contacted me via LinkedIn to add me to her professional network. I replied back and asked how things were going, to which we chatted a bit, with her saying "hey, let's get drinks sometime." A week or so later, there I was on Friday night (last night) in Clarendon, meeting up with her and her bf and another friend, and the other classmate of mine from that Nobel event, Kristin. What fun!
On top of it all, we're standing around chatting, and I see this big fellow squeeze by and do a double-take. It's my buddy Mike (from Washington Sports Club, one of my trainers, and one of the guys I hang around with to watch football and boxing) with his gf Lisa. Totally out of place! It was really kind of amusing, though. I made quick introductions around and then things went back to normal.
Except.... and this is key... for me, this is not normal! :) The whole socializing/friends/hanging out thing is totally new to me. And, I have to say, I really like it. In fact, it's so much fun that I highly recommend it to others. :)
As the end of the year comes up, I'm in a reflective mood (it's about time to write the annual holiday letter), and so I think back with fondness on some of the faces who've stood out over the years... whether it be Ann or Steve or Eric from back in Moorhead.... or Jenn.... Hanna (who I wisely married)... or Matt... or Mike O (whom I've just started catching up with after 10+ years, thanks to Classmates.com)... or new friends Matt and Hollie, and Alex, and AJ... to college acquaintances made anew, such as Jessica and Kristin....
If there's one lesson I hope to impart to offspring (whenever we should spawn them), it would be this: focus on friends, have a good time (with responsibility), and really, truly, enjoy growing up... don't get all tied in knots, like I did... don't miss the faces in the sea of humanity. Always make sure that people count.
